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Detectives Track Down LDS Criminals By Tracing "Fibers of Being" Left at Crime Scenes

"In forensics, you gotta follow the science, and their fibers are a dead giveaway."

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- Law enforcement has unveiled a new forensic tool used to crack the hardest sold cases. Forensic scientists have discovered how to detect and match "fibers of being" left at crime scenes matched with poorly worded confession given over the pulpit monthly.


"This is a nightmare for the LDS criminals out there," said Special Agent Lorenzo of the Salt Lake PD. "All 4 of them."


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