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Orrin Porter Rockwell Still Undefeated in Fortnite

"Ya'll are a bunch of trash noobs," Rockwell taunted.

The World Champion of Fortnite was claimed again by veteran gamer and defending champion Orrin Porter Rockwell of Lehi, Utah. Though only a veteran of 3 years on the platform, Rockwell has inexplicably gone undefeated in every single match since his debut specializing in a viscous "double-tap head shot" some e-athletes, like Cody Tate are calling "the best in the industry".


Mr. Rockwell is feared online, where he goes by his gamer handle "HairyAngel18". His fans call him "O.P.O.P.". Rockwell's gaming career was noticed right away when Bass ProShops was the first to sign him to a brand contract.


"I looked up and saw this big hairy meth addict-looking guy teabagging me," said one elated fan. "And I realized it was O.P.O.P.! I couldn't believe how lucky I was!"


Mr. Rockwell has been heralded as a seminal figure in the gaming community, also as a great language teacher because of all of the English swear words he is drawing from little Japanese boys that he crushes online.


"These youngins don't know a thing about killin'," Mr. Rockwell told Midnight Mormons host and creator, Cardon Ellis.


"How did you learn about killin', OP?" Ellis asked.


"I ain't never killed no one who didn't need killin'," responded Mr. Rockwell.


At a much-anticipated event held in Dubai in 2020, Rockwell defeated LilburnBoggitron99 to claim the title of World Champion. Since then, his skills seem only to have improved.


Rockwell is especially devastating with his accompanying taunts. "You shoot like a Huguenot with a halfcock," is one of his more common taunts. Another epithet includes, "I'm gun hitchybob you til the ox hunts the dog." Or "Yer lip has too much mustard for a tenderfoot cross-eye."


"I'm not sure what he means," said SlayGod571. "But it gets in my head: 'Does my lip have too much mustard? What's a huguenot? What's a hitchybob?' He's a mind-warrior too. He messes with your mind."


"What's the secret to your technique?" Ellis continued.


"Faith and covenants," Rockwell said.


"Wow, that's beautiful," Ellis responded.


"Oh and Redbull," Rockwell added. "Lots of Redbull. I mix it with whiskey."


G-Fuel has also courted Mr. Rockwell with a sponsorship, brewing up a special "RiskyBull" flavor in his honor but OP Rockwell remains reluctant to sign the contract, saying he doesn't;t mind whiskey, but that "Devil's Brew" caffeine will "keep' ya out of heaven."


WHEAT!

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