"All Hail King Noah (Ziff/Zerr)!"
Land of First Inheritance -- Newly discovered documents have aided researchers in concluding that the mystery word "Ziff" from the Book of Mormon was actually referring to King Noah's preferred pronouns, Ziff/Zirr, leading academics everywhere to praise King Noah's "inclusive leadership style."
"That makes sense," said Korbin Volooz, a proud descendent of King Noah and fellow at the Foundation for Preserving the Legacy of King Noah, and fierce advocate of cancel culture. "I mean, we burned Abinadi at the stake for lesser crimes." He continued, "I think in the modern day, public burnings are woefully lacking, but I am quite proud of his progressive taxation plan. I think he would be really proud of the Anti-Mormons in California taking 54.3% right now."
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